I feel stupid about smart bulbs, but Mastodon helped

I have a variety of smart bulbs in my house, but it’s a real hodgepodge: I received some freebies, bought bulbs on sale, tried a random brand or two… The result is a slew of different apps to control various lights, and worse, a few bulbs that drop offline whenever they feel like it. Some of which are willing to be re-paired, some of which are simply jerks.

So last night, I asked Mastodon:

Post by @lexfri@hachyderm.io on Mastodon

I got a lot of replies. Mastodon is nice. Smart bulbs are more complicated.

Hue: expensive, needs a hub, works

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Philips Hue came up frequently, though everyone who recommended Hue also pointed out that it’s pricey. Kyle summed it up best: “It is unfortunately Hue bulbs and a hub, and they cost a million dollars, but they also last for a decade.” Franklin Delano Stallone (wow, I hope that’s his real name) says his Hue bulbs work perfectly and probably will for years, but it still bugs him that he needs the hub. Melvin Gundlach and Glenn Brown said more or less the same thing: pricey, hub, reliable.

David H. McCoy, who seemingly runs a bulb testing lab out of his house, owns Nanoleaf, Meross, Hue, and Linkind bulbs, and he ranked them: Hue came first for “absolute reliability,” though he hates that they fade out instead of just turning off.

Jimmy Little made the case for the hub. A hub gives your bulbs their own little sub-network, which he says is far more reliable and faster than putting 20 bulbs on your Wi-Fi. “Also, if you ever need to change your WiFi password, you have to re-pair all the bulbs individually. (Don’t ask me how I know this…)” I won’t ask, Jimmy. But I appreciate the warning. And honestly, I think Jimmy’s right about the hub — I just want fewer things, you know?

Ikea, I kid you not

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The bulb that came up most by name was Ikea’s Kajplats line. Mastodon users batemania switched over this spring for every fixture in the house that wasn’t already on a smart switch, and says they’ve been very reliable. Jay replied with just “IKEA.” and a link. Cameron Bales is completely happy with his. Melvin noted that Ikea’s stuff is probably the cheapest option, too.

Kajplats bulbs use Matter over Thread, so you don’t need Ikea’s hub. You do need a Thread border router, though, and as MrCoBalt pointed out, a newer Apple TV or HomePod (or HomePod mini) handles that. Again, I’m quite happy not to have to have another piece of hardware to make my lights work. I’m intrigued by this option.

Nanoleaf’s Essentials line runs on Thread as well, and Melvin says it’s cheaper than Hue. David ranked his Nanoleafs third: fast, but they sometimes disconnect, and then he has to toggle the power. I definitely am over smart bulbs that act stupid and need power cycles. I’m over anything needing power cycles.

Linkind, which I’d never heard of

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Before this thread, I didn’t know Linkind existed. Now four people have told me about it.

Sumocat started with a few small E12 bulbs for an entry light and kept expanding from there. He says they respond quickly to the physical switch and remember their last brightness and color. He has two 1600-lumen Linkind bulbs outside in covered fixtures. Greg Pierce swapped out all his outdoor fixtures for them so he could do holiday colors: “No app, no base, just HomeKit.” Kon Jelly says his have been rock solid for 18 months.

And David ranked Linkind second, behind only Hue. He’s buying more of them to replace his Meross bulbs, which came in last: the laggiest of the bunch, and the most likely to disconnect and need a power cycle.

The answer to the question I didn’t ask

The most popular reply in the thread wasn’t about bulbs at all. Casey Liss wrote: “Lutron Caseta is not the answer you’re looking for but is the answer to this question.”

That got 15 favorites, way more than anything else, and a pile-on of agreement. Adam Bell called it “the correct answer to the unasked question.” Michael Fey thirded. Michael Johnson introduced himself as a disciple of the Church of Caseta. Mhorydyn swapped in Caseta switches eight-ish years ago and just uses whatever bulbs he was going to buy anyway. Kevin Miller: “They work so well.” Jon Dunn suggested Lutron’s higher-end RA line.

The Caseta crowd’s argument is that the bulb is the wrong place to put the smarts. Make the switch smart, and the light works whether someone hits the wall or asks Siri, and you can buy cheap dumb bulbs forever. MrCoBalt described what sounds like the nerd consensus: Caseta switches anywhere a person expects to push a switch and have a light come on, Ikea bulbs and remotes everywhere else. He also noted the “very different price points” between the two.

Why is this still so hard?

Dozens of replies, and not one person said, “Buy this. It’s cheap, it doesn’t need a hub, it works with everything, and it never drops offline.” Every recommendation came with a but. But it’s expensive. But you need a hub. But you need a border router. But they fade instead of turning off. But sometimes you have to power cycle them.

Light bulbs have been around for over 140 years. Smart bulbs have been around for well over a decade. And the best advice from a curated selection of nerdy tech fans on Mastodon is essentially: “replace your light switches instead” and “this brand I’d never heard of from Amazon has been fine for 18 months.”

It still feels like the market is wide open. Matter was meant to fix this, and maybe it eventually will. It at least means an Ikea bulb or a Linkind bulb can talk to HomeKit without either company building its own bridge to Apple. But nobody has made the obvious bulb yet: the one you’d tell your less tech-savvy friends and loved ones to buy without a list of caveats, the way people used to recommend Eero for mesh Wi-Fi. Ahem.

Ikea is closest on price. Hue is closest on reliability. Some company ought to just, you know, waltz on in and solve this and make a boatload of cash.

What’s next

I’ve ordered a few different varieties, including some for outside. Give me a couple of weeks, and I’ll report back on which ones earn a permanent spot, and which ones I regret. They’re business expenses now, at least.